A blast from the past.

To that thing upstairs of close kin that happens to share a bathroom with me,

Although admittedly I surrendered my rights to most of the house a while ago, I do make an effort around here. I pride myself on managing to keep things tidy. One of these things that I happen to have a penchant for keeping clean is the bathroom. You know of it- that room that frequently bears your clothing on its cold floors? No, I'm not talking about your bedroom. Come on- that room opposite your bedroom? Shift your big fat head out the door and aim your gaze straight across the landing. See it now? Tiled floor, shower, sink? That's called a BATHROOM- not a landfill site.

Quite frankly, I'm getting a little bit sick of cleaning up your hair gadgetry once you deem it necessary to have finished with them- which, judging by their continuing presence on the sink, is never. At worst, it's multiple things that are left out on the bench, and, amazingly enough, your nephew doesn't straighten his hair. Yet.

I'm reduced to using only one set of shampoo and conditioner (thanks, John Frieda, for making a million sets of blonde and brunette shampoo and only one set for red hair), and somehow there's at least half a dozen more bottles around that once were found in the shower. If you're getting into the habit of using a different shampoo depending upon your mood- or, hell, one for every day of the week- then please, let me know.

Oh- I almost forgot- do you MAIME the toothpaste tube in order to get the required amount onto your brush? Judging by the amount of seepage around the lid, I'm starting to wonder just how you do manage to waste so much. Whatever. MY TOOTHPASTE. FIX IT, GROT.

Finally, for now, little imp, please- PLEASE stop reducing the sink area to a wading pool. Who the hell spends a minimum of ten minutes in the shower, and then gets out to WASH THEIR HAIR IN THE SINK?! Stop it right now, or else your pet parrot well end up with another nice name in addition to Phyllis.

Oh, and by the way- I killed a spider with your hair straightener. You really should have seen it- one snap between the irons and- BAM!- no more spider. Its remains are still lying around somewhere (I think you'll find out soon enough). Enjoy.

Love
Emm